Marriage
What Is The Sacrament Of Marriage (Matrimony)?
In the Catholic Church, marriage is more than a natural institution; it was elevated by Christ Himself, in His participation in the wedding at Cana ( John 2:1-11), to be one of the seven sacraments.
Your marriage is first and foremost a sacrament. Through your wedding vows, you will make known the loving presence of God as revealed through Christ and His Church. You should be concentrating on the unity you will be bringing into your lives, your commitment, and the blending of two people into one.
What Are The Essentials Of The Wedding Ceremony?
You are the essential symbol of the sacrament, not the arches made of flowers, not the dress nor the rings. You, your love, and your commitment to each other are the essential symbols and the liturgy is designed around this fact. Filling up the Church with distracting clutter and over the top wedding decor diminishes your role. You are the minister of the sacrament, not the Priest. You are the one who speaks the words that bring about the reality of the sacrament. Your consent made before God and before your guests make this a marriage. Everything else is window dressing and, if not properly attended to, can detract from the sacredness of the sacrament.
What Do You Believe?
Your wedding liturgy communicates what you believe. What you do in the liturgy demonstrates this. So, speak your vows loudly and clearly, respond to the prayers and the songs. Your attention to each other and the sacrament is more precious than posing for photos.
A wedding ceremony is not a staged event in which only a few have starring roles. These guidelines are meant to help you make this a sacred day. The Priest will suggest some things which will seem new and different to you, but they are true to the Church and to the faith of the worshipping community.
What Is The Role Of The Priest?
The Priest will help you plan your wedding liturgy. He will help you to see the sacramental nature of this day. He will discuss with you those things that will not be allowed to interfere with the sacredness of the ceremony.
Planning Your Wedding?
The few months of planning before a wedding can be far from peaceful. Planning a wedding can be particularly difficult because it involves not only your future spouse, but your family, your spouse’s family, your friends, and your parish Priest. Most couples start out trying to not hurt anyone’s feelings and to accommodate everyone’s idea of what your wedding day should be. Negotiating these potential mine fields can turn a wedding into one of the most anxiety-ridden events of your life.
One of the issues is that people view a wedding as a cultural event, not a religious one. And usually it is the cultural aspects of the wedding which rule the day and the religious aspects get lost in the shuffle. You may think you are planning your own wedding ceremony but more often than not, and without even knowing it, you are basing your plans on someone else’s wedding day, what you saw at a friend’s wedding, or images from your favourite movie or reality TV show.
Couples often try to accommodate too many extremes in order to keep the peace, or they bring in too many “extras” to enhance the liturgy only to find that what they want is not acceptable by the Church’s standards.
During this period of planning, try and be aware of the cultural, familial and personal influences that are guiding your choices. Some can contribute to making this a meaningful and prayerful event, but we have seen many couples who overloaded the simplicity of the marriage rite with extras that distracted from the commitment they were making and rendered the marriage liturgy mundane and disappointing.
Our online resources not only help you organize your wedding, but can help you more fully enter the beauty of the ceremony.
We just got engaged! What should we do to get married in the Catholic Church?
Congratulations! The first step is to contact your local Catholic parish. If both of you are Catholic, you may contact either one of your parish priests. Your pastor will schedule a series of interviews with both of you in order to prepare you for marriage.
Is completion of an approved marriage preparation program a requirement for getting married in the Catholic Church?
Yes, it is a requirement if you live in the Archdiocese of Toronto and you're planning to get married.
How far in advance should the couple intending to be married speak to the pastor about their anticipated wedding date?
We ask that you please book a meeting with one of the priests at least twelve months in advance.
Is the celebration different if the bride or the groom isn't Catholic?
To maintain consistency across the Archdiocese of Toronto, it is a policy that no Eucharist be celebrated for marriages between a Catholic and a non-baptized person. The celebration of the Eucharist at marriages between a Catholic and a validly baptized non-Catholic is discouraged, but is at the pastoral discretion of the priest celebrating the wedding, bearing in mind the problem of living out disunity at Communion time.
Can ministers of non-Catholic Christian communities take part in a Catholic wedding?
Yes, but you must consult the priest for the arrangement.
Do Bible readings have to be part of the wedding liturgy?
Yes. There are many beautiful passages and themes from the list of readings for the couple to consider together. The priest will be able to help them find appropriate readings.
We have prepared our own vows and would like to use the ones we prepared at the exchange of vows ceremony. Is this allowed?
No. There are many places for creative choice in the ceremony, but the content of the vows is for the validity of the act of entering marriage.
We have selected some well-known and meaningful pieces of music for our wedding. Will we be able to use them?
"The rite of marriage belongs to the Church, so the Church regulates its celebration." [1] In planning your wedding, you must consult the Pastor and the existing policy about music and the securing of musicians for your music selection. The Church has a rich repertoire of beautiful and suitable music and hymns. We are confident that with the Pastor’s help, you will find meaningful pieces of music for such a sacred event as your wedding celebration.
Is it true that the Church doesn't recommend that the bride's father give her away?
Yes, it is normally true at many Catholic weddings. But culture and family are very much part of the discussion in terms of the details of the celebration. The priest will be able to speak to your particular situation.
We would like to be married in a Catholic Church in another country. How do we go about it?
The procedure to get married in a Catholic Church in another country or Diocese is similar to getting married locally. Please contact your local Pastor, who will prepare you for marriage and instruct you to take the Marriage Preparation Course.
Could we get permission to marry outside the Catholic Church?
A parish church is the ordinary place for the celebration of a marriage involving two Catholics or a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic. Since the marriage of two baptized persons is a sacrament, it is not merely a private or familial celebration but also an ecclesial event. The spouses declare their consent before God and the Church and live out that commitment in and with the support of the local ecclesial community. Therefore, this celebration should take place in the parish church. Exceptions are only made when there is a grave and urgent cause, such as illness or danger of death.
I am Roman Catholic but my spouse-to-be is a non-Christian. To satisfy the wishes of both our families, we would like to have two wedding ceremonies, one at the Roman Catholic Church, and another ceremony to follow or precede, in the non-Christian Church. Is this allowed?
Canon 1127 §3 of the Code of Canon Law forbids a double celebration of the same marriage for the purpose of giving or renewing matrimonial consent. The Catholic Church could arrange to recognize the non-Catholic ceremony as sufficient. Speak with the priest first.
I have been married before in the Catholic Church. I have made arrangements to get married in two months. Can a Catholic Priest marry us as scheduled?
We cannot guarantee that a Catholic priest can officiate your wedding. Generally speaking, betrothed couples are advised to make arrangements with their local Pastor at least one year before their tentatively planned date of marriage. If either of you were previously married in the Catholic Church, then you must consult the Marriage Tribunal about your situation: the Church maintains that the new union cannot be recognized as valid if the first marriage is valid. In addition, a special Second Marriage Preparation Course by Catholic Family Services of Toronto is mandatory.
Can we use Banns, or do we have to be married by Marriage Licence?
A couple must be married by Marriage Licence. Given the transient nature of our Archdiocese, it is our policy not to publish Banns.
Is it possible to have our wedding on a Sunday to accommodate relatives who will be travelling from out of town?
No, according to the particular law of the Archdiocese of Toronto (promulgated since 1971), weddings in the Catholic Church are not allowed to be celebrated on Sundays or Holy Days of Obligation (January 1, the solemnity of Mary, Mother of God and December 25, the solemnity of the Nativity of our Lord Jesus Christ).
[1] Marriage, Ritual and Pastoral Notes (CCCB), no. 21, p.18.
The criteria for celebrating your Marriage Ceremony at St. Patrick's Parish are:
- You live in the parish boundaries [1]
- At least one of you is a registered member at our parish and regularly attends Sunday mass
- Register with the Parish at least one year before you marry.
- The Pastor has given you permission to marry at the parish. This requires a signed Permission Form by the Pastor.
These conditions are dictated by Church Law (Canon Law) and requires Catholic weddings take place in the parish church of the bride or groom.
[1] Parish Boundaries are: North: Major Mackenzie Drive East | East: Markham Road, east along Rouge River | South: Highway 407 | West: North on Kennedy Road, east on Carlton Road, north on Manhattan Drive, north on Shorthill Drive, west on 16th Avenue, north on Kennedy Road
Welcome!
We are so excited that you have made a decision to committed love. Registering for your wedding at St. Patrick's parish is your first step to a new beginning that we hope has God at the center of it.
What To Expect
Below is your couple registration. Once you complete and submit it, a Priest will contact you and set up a meeting time. During this meeting, the Priest will get to know you a bit better as a couple and as individuals and establishes whether you are entering your marriage freely and with full consent. During this meeting, the priest also completes a Pre-nuptial Inquiry Form and set your marriage date and time. If you do not set a date at this meeting, the responsibility will be yours to follow up and ensure a wedding date has been set. Scheduling a date is still subject to the Pastor’s discretion, and the availability of dates. Adequate time must be allowed to meet the requirements for marriage. Official forms for the wedding may be completed once a date for the wedding has been finalized.
NOTE: Please DO NOT book your wedding reception until your wedding ceremony has been set.
Book Your Wedding Date
Weddings are celebrated on Saturdays at St. Patrick's Parish. We can also accomodate weekday weddings according to availability. The CCCB (Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops) does not permit weddings on the Lord’s Day; the Lord’s Day begins Saturday evening at 5:00pm with the celebration of the Sunday Vigil. No weddings are permitted during Holy Week, Christmas Day, and New Year’s Day.
In accordance with the guidelines established by the Archdiocese of Toronto, engaged couples intending to marry in the church are required to complete three steps. As couples, you are required to:
Once you register as a couple, the Priest will contact you and set up a meeting time. During this meeting, the Priest will get to know you and establish whether you are entering your marriage freely and with full consent. During this meeting, the Pastor will complete a Prenuptial Inquiry Form and set your marriage date and time. If you do not set a date at this meeting, the responsibility will be yours to follow up and ensure a wedding date has been set. Scheduling a date is still subject to the Pastor’s discretion and the availability of dates. Adequate time must be allowed to meet the requirements for marriage. Official forms for the wedding may be completed once a date for the wedding has been finalized.
NOTE: Please DO NOT book your wedding reception until your wedding ceremony has been set.
Marriage Preparation: JOY FILLED MARRIAGE
We are so happy your love has brought you to this beautiful time in your life. To help you enter into marriage, as a vocation, it is a requirement of the Archdiocese of Toronto that couples complete an approved marriage preparation program called Joy Filled Marriage. This course covers not only the sacramentality and theology of marriage but also the practical life skills necessary to live out the rich Catholic vision of marriage. Below is a course preview. At the end of the course, couples will need to submit a certificate of completion.
There are several courses of instruction conducted each year in the Archdiocese of Toronto. You will be responsible for making your own arrangements with one of the following:
Catholic Family Services:
Queen of the Apostles Renewal Center:
For couples who have been married before, please speak to one of the priests, as we have a more suitable program to meet your needs through the following link:
Select Your Wedding Readings
Your Wedding Ceremony is a sacred event and reflects what you fundamentally understand and believe about the commitment you are entering into. The readings you pick speak to what you believe about marriage and what you want to promise to each other.
To help you prayerfully prepare for this most joyful, sacred day, we've compiled a Booklet of Wedding Readings, which makes it easy to review options and select your readings. What are they speaking to you? What resonates? They are God's living words to you, so pick them prayerfully and wisely. They will be your lifeline in your marriage.
Book Your Wedding Music
Dr. Luke Davis, Director of Music, is responsible for wedding music at St. Patrick's Parish.
For all your music inquiries, along with fees, music selection, and to book your music, you will deal directly with Dr. Luke at lgdavis777@gmail.com
Once you complete and return your Music Selection Form, Dr. Luke will review your choices with you to ensure that they meet our liturgical guidelines and that your wedding celebration is a memorable one!
You must contact Dr. Luke at least three months prior to your wedding date.
The Fee for Dr. Luke Davis is $300. and the Cantor Fee is $200.
Required Documents
You must complete the following documents when marrying in the Roman Catholic Church.
All documents are to be completed and submitted to the Priest no later than two months before your wedding date.
Form 1: Prenuptial Inquiry
This document must be signed in the presence of the Priest at your first meeting, prior to booking your wedding date.
Proof of Baptism
Baptismal Certificates for Catholics
All Christians must present an updated Certificate of Baptismissued within six months of their wedding date. To obtain an updated copy of your baptismal certificate, please contact the church where you were baptized, whether in Canada or abroad.
- If you were baptized at St. Patrick's Parish, we have your information and so no need to get an updated copy of your Baptismal Certificate.
- If baptized within North America, a new certificate needs to be issued within six months before your wedding date.
- If baptized overseas, where getting a new Baptismal Certificate may be difficult (eg., remote village, war-torn country), then getting a new one issued within a year of your wedding date is acceptable.
- Again, we do not accept original Baptismal Certificates.
Baptismal Certificates for Non-Catholics
Baptized, non-Catholic parties can provide a copy of their original Record of Baptism.
Civil Marriage License
It is your responsibility to obtain a civil license. A license can be obtained three months prior to the wedding date.
Once obtained, the Marriage Licence and the accompanying envelope must be submitted to St. Patrick Parish. Please DO NOT write on the envelope.
Click here for information on how to obtain a Marriage License:
Marriage Preparation Course
A certificate of completion must be submitted. If you completed a Marriage Preparation Course at a Parish other than St. Patrick's Parish, a certificate attesting the completion of the course must be submitted.
Wedding Fees
All fees related to your wedding at St. Patrick's Parish must be made one month before the wedding date.
Consent of Parents
If one of the parties wishing to be married is under the age of eighteen, written consent is required of the parents (or guardians).
Previous Marriage
If a previous marriage exists, the following documents are required:
- If the former spouse is deceased, an authentic certificate or satisfactory proof of death of the spouse.
- If divorced, a copy of the previous marriage certificate, a copy of the divorce decree, and official confirmation from the proper ecclesiastical court with regard to the dissolution or nullity of the marriage.
NOTE: No wedding date will be booked until it is established that one or both parties is free to re-marry.